Tiring but enjoyable times........though sprinkled with some frustrations

It has been more than two weeks since Melody's birth and things are pretty good I must say. It has been busy & tiring, hence the delay in any posts here, but at the same time it has been thoroughly enjoyable. Her lil sweetness is growing cuter by the day, unfortunately I have had some problems with the transfering of photos so am unable to place more cute photos of my princess for the time being.

The missus is suffering more than me, and there are visible signs of fatigue. She is extremely tired out but I am amazed at her resilience, she is still going quite strong. I think I have finally seen the "motherhood instinct" up close. And I must admit there is some new found respect for her.

While it has been an extremely great experience for me so far, there have been a bit of frustrations. I know life isn't perfect but sometimes I just wish that it wouldn't have to be frustrating either. I have begun to wonder what is the point of the confinement period. If one has to contend with help one doesn't want. If one has to be "give face" to her mother as it is only for one month. For those who have heard my complaints, you know what I am talking about, for those whom I have not complained to..........bear with my rantings for I am not about to spell it out in full.

But I have some questions for you to ponder over.

1. What is the point of the confinement period? Is it really a time for the new mother to rest & recover from the physical trauma of labour? Or is it a time where the new parents have to suffer in silence from the help rendered by either of their own parents even though the "help" is more trouble than help? I mean with all the "Aiyah, relax la it is only for one month!" I have gotten from most of those who I have complained to, I have begun to think that the true purpose of "confinement" is no longer being served.

2. If the help given is not of any real help at all, should one put a halt to the help or suffer in silence and be appreciative? Suffer in silence and be appreciative?!!! Well the last time I checked, the priority of the confinement period was (and should still be) the new mother! Not the mother of the new mother or (for some of you) the mother-in-law of the new mother. The new mother needs plenty of rest and nutritious food to build up her strength. There is however a fine line between nutritious food and nutritious food that the new mother will eat. What is the point of cooking food that is nutritious but shunned by the new mother? The new mother will not eat it, and the purpose of having nutritious food is thus not served once again. Physical health aside, I think mental health is important too. I mean ask yourself, what is the point of having a person 100% healthy physically but totally nuts? Would a new mother be able to give the new born the love and care needed if she herself is stressed up? I really don't think so. Isn't the first month crucial for the new born too? So shouldn't the new mother be at her mental best so as to take good care of her new born? But at the same time, won't suffering in silence over the unhelpful "help" be affecting the new mother's mental health? Refusing to eat the nutritious food because the "help" stubbornly insists on giving food that the new mother does not eat will also have an adverse effect on the new mother's health too right?

Despite all this, I know that there will still be those who feel that well despite the frustrations that mothers and mother-in-laws can give during the confinement period one should still suffer in silence. Well bear this in mind, if you do feel that way then you do not believe in confinement, so there is no need for your overbearing mother or mother-in-law to be there during that period anyway. Puzzled? Well let me explain. The physical health and mental health of the new mother is important. Thus the confinement period to ensure that the new mother has a speedy recovery from the physical trauma of labour. Therefore, if you believe that you should suffer in silence, then you are not putting the health of the new mother as THE priority. If the health of the new mother is not THE priority, then what is the point of confinement? You might as well start guzzling the beers and chomping on the pizzas!

That said, there has been some positives to the frustrations. I have begun to appreciate my own mother more.

I do apologise for the ranting, I know that this blog is mainly for my lil princess. But the frustrations have reached new peaks. Hey........the mental health of the new father is of importance too! ..